Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic's his name, and speed is his game. Fast enough to leave his fanbase behind him, and rockin' an attitude straight out of the '90s, Sonic isn't one for moping around thinking about no stupid feelings. He'll face Dr. Robotnik head-on, breaking the speed of sound as he slips through different dimensions to gather Chaos Emeralds.

Stylish red shoes, hundreds of rings and chili dogs are enough to turn this blue storm into a one-hedgehog army.  Even a long spell of bad games and terrible design can't slow Sonic down. He's been through more shit than most game characters could possibly survive.

Protecting their eggs? Fuck that shit, Yoshi fucking throws those things.

How many heroes have had the chance to save an entire franchise before it got started? Yoshi brought Mario home before he even had a home. You know who tried to stop him? Bowser. And Yoshi just stomped the fool. Twice over!

Despite facing countless dangers, and the constant crying of the baby Mario, Yoshi manages to keep cool, and throw some damned eggs.

Have you ever thrown an egg at a person? You have? Well, good for you. Have you ever killed someone by throwing an egg at them? You haven't? Yoshi's survived countless battles by throwing his eggs hard enough to beat the shit out of anyone getting in his way.

On The Next Episode...

Remember when sidekicks used to help the main hero? No? Neither does Etna. Tasked with the objective to keep Laharl alive, one that she succeeded in despite numerous attempts to take his life, Etna gives absolutely not one single fuck about any of the events of Disgaea.

The Prinnies she hired? Canon fodder. That hero character she's traveling along with? Just a platform to meet her own goals. Her title? She hacked that.

Fuck, she even outgrew in rank way past the position of main character. Who was on the center of Disgaea 2's box art again? Etna. Who is in more Makai games than any other major character? Etna. Who does the narration for the next episode parts, derailing it into whatever the fuck she wants? Etna.

Henshin Around!

If there ever was a character that did not give a single fuck about what was going on, than it's got to be Joe. Dude's girlfriend got dragged into a movie by a giant robot, and his only way of reclaiming her is to live his dreams of being a super sentai hero. Along the way he creates an over-the-top character for himself, complete with catch-phrases. Exchanging one-liners with bosses, and naming every area after movies of lore, Viewtiful Joe is just in it for the kicks.

This isn't a dangerous rescue mission, it's not a threat, it's an exploitive experience of a lifetime. Joe knows he's got an audience to please, and he's more than willing to go the extra mile for them. Dodging bullets in slow-motion, punching at the speed of sound, and posing with an extreme close-up. Nothing's too crazy for Viewtiful Joe.

Heaven or Hell's Of No Concern In Slayer's Duels. But He Rocks On Anway!

Classy as fuck. Just look at this bloodsucker here, Slayer might be part of the Guilty Gear series, but he doesn't give a fuck about what the hell is going on.

Where most of the cast of Guilty Gear is either over-the-top hotblooded or heroically stoic, Slayer just really doesn't give a shit. And why should he? He's immortal. There's absolutely nothing at stake for him him. Even if you beat him down, he'll still just lay on the floor with a bored expression on his face.

His entire moveset shows that he really doesn't care. Blocking with his cigar's smoke, and one-hit-killing people by merely citing a haiku. Without a single doubt, he's the strongest person in the entire franchise, and he knows how little's at stake for him. He's just here to observe, give advice, and maybe punch the odd person in the face.

Piecing Together The Universe? No Problem.

La La La La La La La La La, Katamari Damashii~! Huh? What? Universe being shattered to pieces? Again? And it all needs to be slapped together by rolling random objects into balls? Not to worry, The Prince has got this!

It's not like the entire universe can't be replaced or anything. It doesn't really matter. What? Who broke it? What evil was behind this? Oh, just his father. Playing tennis. He went binge-drinking? He created a tsunami? Eh, that's all in the past. Who really cares at this point anyway? Just let The Prince handle it, I'm sure he won't really mind. In fact, he looks sorta happy as he rolls playing cards, cars, people, and even entire planets together.

In the Katamari universe, it's not just The Prince who doesn't give a fuck. It's the entire cast. Like The King of All Cosmos destroyed all the fucks that could've been given in the universe. Maybe we should get The Prince on that one.