Trust Me, No One Gives Less of a Shit Than Bo Does

Imagine a game where the main character is completely unaware of anything going on around him. All he does is walk forward in a straight line. To him, there's no danger, there's no enemies, there's no quest or higher calling. It's all up to you, the player, to keep this fuckwad alive at all costs. Shooting his lazy ass to jump, his thick skull to duck, and his enemies so they'll die before harming him.

That's Rescue Shot in a nutshell. Not one protagonist gives less of a fuck of what's going on around him than Bo does because he doesn't even know what the flying fuck is going on all around him. In the meantime, every single damn thing in the universe is trying to kill him as he stumbles forward like a wasted oblivious asshole.

He's-a Wise-a! He's-a Gonna Win!

Look at this asshole. Would you believe he's actually saved the day more than once? Not that Wario cares about what state the world is in, he'd trade the entire thing in for more money if you'd give him the chance. Kidnapped princesses, ancient curses, lurking evils, Wario will bash the shit out of all of them if they're in between him and whatever treasure he has his eyes on at the moment.

Everything in between him and more money is just an obstacle waiting to be destroyed. And Wario is good at destroying things. If the need calls for it, he'll even publish his own crappy cash-in 5 second video games to feed the dumb consumers if that'll get him ahead.