Authorize this, Adam!

The last Metroid is in captivity, the galaxy is at peace. Take three guesses why there is only one Metroid left, and why it's in captivity. If your answer was anything other than Samus Aran, then you are wrong.

Where most video game characters are stuck with roles as victim, faux-action girl, or "that weak fast one", Samus has always ignored all of these rules. She was too busy blowing up giant alien civilizations to ponder on gender roles. And it's not just a mission of peace either, mess with Samus, and she doesn't give a single fuck about your planet anymore. It's done.

It's gotten to the point that if you see Samus on your planet, that's a sure warning that your planet doesn't have much time left in this galaxy.

What? Metroid: Other M? I'm sorry, but I can't hear you over the sound of every planet and space station that Samus has ever set foot on exploding.

Mega Man Does Not Give A Fuck

Look at this guy. No seriously, look at him. This guy right here, he gives no fucks. This is him, the entire game long, minus changes in color. He’s not tense, not sad, not angry. He just doesn’t give a damn. Mega Man gives no fucks whatsoever.

Wily took over 8 killer robots. He's planning to take over the world. Not only does Mega Man have to battle against those 8 robots, he also has to go through their stages which are specifically designed to give them the strategic advantage. Think that’s enough? Fuck no, Wily’s got a fucking castle with even more killer robots inside there. And if that's not enough, after that Mega Man has to fight all 8 robots again, before he can finally fight against the mad scientist himself.

And Mega Man gives zero fucks about any of this. It’s cool. This has happened before. It’ll happen again. Instant death spikes? Gigantic robots? Pits of death? Disappearing blocks? He doesn't give a shit.

Giving fucks hadn’t been invented yet, X was the first robot designed to do that. Mega Man plays it cool.