Protecting their eggs? Fuck that shit, Yoshi fucking throws those things.

How many heroes have had the chance to save an entire franchise before it got started? Yoshi brought Mario home before he even had a home. You know who tried to stop him? Bowser. And Yoshi just stomped the fool. Twice over!

Despite facing countless dangers, and the constant crying of the baby Mario, Yoshi manages to keep cool, and throw some damned eggs.

Have you ever thrown an egg at a person? You have? Well, good for you. Have you ever killed someone by throwing an egg at them? You haven't? Yoshi's survived countless battles by throwing his eggs hard enough to beat the shit out of anyone getting in his way.

On The Next Episode...

Remember when sidekicks used to help the main hero? No? Neither does Etna. Tasked with the objective to keep Laharl alive, one that she succeeded in despite numerous attempts to take his life, Etna gives absolutely not one single fuck about any of the events of Disgaea.

The Prinnies she hired? Canon fodder. That hero character she's traveling along with? Just a platform to meet her own goals. Her title? She hacked that.

Fuck, she even outgrew in rank way past the position of main character. Who was on the center of Disgaea 2's box art again? Etna. Who is in more Makai games than any other major character? Etna. Who does the narration for the next episode parts, derailing it into whatever the fuck she wants? Etna.

Henshin Around!

If there ever was a character that did not give a single fuck about what was going on, than it's got to be Joe. Dude's girlfriend got dragged into a movie by a giant robot, and his only way of reclaiming her is to live his dreams of being a super sentai hero. Along the way he creates an over-the-top character for himself, complete with catch-phrases. Exchanging one-liners with bosses, and naming every area after movies of lore, Viewtiful Joe is just in it for the kicks.

This isn't a dangerous rescue mission, it's not a threat, it's an exploitive experience of a lifetime. Joe knows he's got an audience to please, and he's more than willing to go the extra mile for them. Dodging bullets in slow-motion, punching at the speed of sound, and posing with an extreme close-up. Nothing's too crazy for Viewtiful Joe.

Heaven or Hell's Of No Concern In Slayer's Duels. But He Rocks On Anway!

Classy as fuck. Just look at this bloodsucker here, Slayer might be part of the Guilty Gear series, but he doesn't give a fuck about what the hell is going on.

Where most of the cast of Guilty Gear is either over-the-top hotblooded or heroically stoic, Slayer just really doesn't give a shit. And why should he? He's immortal. There's absolutely nothing at stake for him him. Even if you beat him down, he'll still just lay on the floor with a bored expression on his face.

His entire moveset shows that he really doesn't care. Blocking with his cigar's smoke, and one-hit-killing people by merely citing a haiku. Without a single doubt, he's the strongest person in the entire franchise, and he knows how little's at stake for him. He's just here to observe, give advice, and maybe punch the odd person in the face.

Piecing Together The Universe? No Problem.

La La La La La La La La La, Katamari Damashii~! Huh? What? Universe being shattered to pieces? Again? And it all needs to be slapped together by rolling random objects into balls? Not to worry, The Prince has got this!

It's not like the entire universe can't be replaced or anything. It doesn't really matter. What? Who broke it? What evil was behind this? Oh, just his father. Playing tennis. He went binge-drinking? He created a tsunami? Eh, that's all in the past. Who really cares at this point anyway? Just let The Prince handle it, I'm sure he won't really mind. In fact, he looks sorta happy as he rolls playing cards, cars, people, and even entire planets together.

In the Katamari universe, it's not just The Prince who doesn't give a fuck. It's the entire cast. Like The King of All Cosmos destroyed all the fucks that could've been given in the universe. Maybe we should get The Prince on that one.

Authorize this, Adam!

The last Metroid is in captivity, the galaxy is at peace. Take three guesses why there is only one Metroid left, and why it's in captivity. If your answer was anything other than Samus Aran, then you are wrong.

Where most video game characters are stuck with roles as victim, faux-action girl, or "that weak fast one", Samus has always ignored all of these rules. She was too busy blowing up giant alien civilizations to ponder on gender roles. And it's not just a mission of peace either, mess with Samus, and she doesn't give a single fuck about your planet anymore. It's done.

It's gotten to the point that if you see Samus on your planet, that's a sure warning that your planet doesn't have much time left in this galaxy.

What? Metroid: Other M? I'm sorry, but I can't hear you over the sound of every planet and space station that Samus has ever set foot on exploding.

Late At Night, You Can Still Hear Blue's Raticate In The Wind

Holy shit, it's the goddamned Pokemon Trainer! Wait? What's so bad-ass about a trainer of little animals? Are you kidding me? Red is a damned legend! Just look at the basic powers of your everyday Pokemon, captured within a technological marvel in terms of storage space, they defy all the laws of nature on a regular basis.

And Red? He doesn't give a flying fuck about this. He'll cause Earthquakes, leveling entire cities, just to beat a small-time trainer out of some loose change. Red will fly from town to town using his mighty legendary birds just to find more creatures to enslave. When word came out of a secret cloned Pokemon being sighted in a cave, he was the first to get in there and capture him. He even brought back three races of Pokemon previously thought to be extinct, just for bragging rights.

An entire underground network of thugs stood between him and his road to glory, and he singlehandedly dealt with all of them, because fuck relying on authorities. You know who else stood in Red's way? Ash Ketchum. During the Pokemon League. Guess where Ash's journey to the top of the Pokemon League ended? Exactly.

You know who else stood in Red's way? Gary. Enough said.